Who Told You Who You Are?
Sunday, March 29, 2026
Category:
Breaking Free from Horizontal Validation and Returning to the Father
Introduction: The Voices That Shape Us
I’ve listened to this talk by Elder Brik V. Eyre multiple times now… and if I’m being honest, I didn’t just listen to it—I felt exposed by it.
There’s something in his message that cuts right through the noise of everyday life and lands squarely on one uncomfortable truth:
I’ve been letting other people tell me who I am.
Not directly, maybe. Not always out loud.
But through reactions.Through rejection.Through misunderstanding.Through silence.
And if I’m not careful… I start to believe those voices more than the one that matters most.
The Trap of Horizontal Validation
Elder Eyre teaches something simple—but it hits hard:
“We must seek validation vertically, not horizontally.”
Most of my life, I didn’t even realize I was doing the opposite.
I’ve looked for validation in:
- whether people approve of me
- whether they understand me
- whether they forgive me
- whether they believe I’ve changed
And when that validation doesn’t come…
It messes with you.
You start questioning everything:
- Maybe I’m not who I thought I was
- Maybe I really am the worst version of myself
- Maybe I’ll never recover from my mistakes
I’ve felt that pressure up close.
There are moments when the voices around you get loud—when the people closest to you speak words that cut deep. When you’re told, directly or indirectly, that you’re not enough… that you’ve failed… that you’re the problem.
A couple weeks ago, I stood in that fire. The words coming at me were heavy—laced with anger and accusation—and for a moment, they tried to define me.
That’s the danger of horizontal validation.
Because if you’re not careful, the loudest voice in the room becomes the truest one in your mind.
But here’s what I’m learning—sometimes slowly, sometimes the hard way:
You have to purposefully look up when everything around you is telling you to look around.
When the voices of others are telling you who you are… you have to decide whose voice has the final say.
Because people—even good people—see you through moments.
God sees you through identity.
And God—our Eternal Father—does not define us by what we have or have not done.
He does not reduce us to our worst day.
He does not measure our worth by our performance.
We are His.
And as His children, we have a divine worth that does not fluctuate based on success or failure, approval or rejection.
There is a deep comfort in that… and more than comfort, there is joy.
Because if my worth comes from Him…
Then it cannot be taken away by anyone else.
Not by criticism.Not by misunderstanding.Not even by my own past.
That kind of truth doesn’t just make you feel better…
It sets you free.
“Son of Man”… or “Son of God”?
The story of Moses in this talk hit me harder than I expected.
God tells Moses:
“Thou art my son.”
Then almost immediately, the adversary shows up and says:
“Moses, son of man.”
That right there…
That’s the battle.
God speaks identity.The adversary speaks labels.
And labels are always tied to comparison:
- weakness
- failure
- limitation
- past mistakes
And prideful comparisons:
- better than
- smarter than
- richer than
- more capable than
I’ve worn those labels.
Not because they were true…but because they were repeated.
And eventually, repetition feels like truth.
When You Forget Who You Are
There’s a dangerous place you can end up in—and I’ve been there.
It’s where you start trying to earn back your worth.
You try to:
- prove you’ve changed
- prove you’re good
- prove you’re worthy of love, trust, or respect
But no matter how hard you work…
It never feels like enough.
Because you’re trying to solve a spiritual identity problem with human approval.
And it doesn’t work.
The Shift: Looking Up Instead of Around
This is where the message starts to change everything.
Not instantly. Not magically.
But clearly.
If my identity comes from God…then it doesn’t fluctuate based on:
- someone’s opinion
- a court decision
- a broken relationship
- a past failure
That doesn’t mean those things don’t matter.
They do.
But they don’t define me.
Only One voice has that authority.
Learning to “Be With God” Again
Elder Eyre’s invitation about prayer hit deeper than expected.
Not just saying prayers…but actually taking time to be with God.
That’s different.
That means:
- slowing down
- preparing your heart
- being still long enough to feel something real
I’ll be honest…
There have been times where I’ve prayed out of habit…and times where I’ve avoided it altogether.
But the times that change me?
Are the ones where I stop performing…and just show up as I am.
No script.No pretending.Just honest.
That’s where identity gets restored.
Jesus Christ: Not Just the Savior—My Savior
There’s a moment in the talk where Elder Eyre shares a simple but powerful correction:
Not just:
“Do you believe in Jesus Christ as the Savior?”
But:
“Do you believe He is your Savior?”
That shift matters.
Because if He is my Savior…
Then:
- my mistakes are covered
- my past is redeemable
- my future is still open
Not because I earned it.
But because He already paid for it.
An Invitation to You (and to Me)
If you’re anything like me…
You’ve probably spent time trying to:
- rebuild your image
- fix your reputation
- earn back something that feels lost
But maybe that’s not where it starts.
Maybe it starts here:
Who told you who you are?
And more importantly…
Why are you believing them more than God?
Come Back to the Source
If you haven’t read or listened to Elder Eyre’s message yet, I invite you to take a few minutes and go through it yourself:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/10/15eyre?lang=eng
Not casually.
Not in the background.
But intentionally.
Because somewhere in that message is a reminder we all need:
You are not your worst moment.
You are not the labels placed on you.
You are not the sum of other people’s opinions.
You are a child of God.
And when you start believing that again…
Everything changes.
Gratefully,
Scott Alan Westhoff
Create A Great Day.
Hi, I Am Scott Alan Westhoff
Welcome to Becoming Better Every Day
I’m Scott Alan Westhoff, and this blog is where I share my ongoing journey of personal growth. Over the years, I’ve learned that self-improvement isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about slowing down, reflecting, and growing through the lessons life keeps offering.
Here you’ll find short reflections, honest stories, and practical tools that help me cultivate more patience, purpose, and peace—one day at a time. My hope is that what I’m learning can help you on your journey too, as we both keep becoming a little better every day.
FREE DOWNLOAD FOR CHRISTIAN MEN
Are You Driven — Or Are You Drifting?
Most men don't drift on purpose. It happens one "good enough" day at a time.
This free checklist tells you the truth about where you actually stand — in 60 seconds.
